Earlier today, I posted in Health and Health Care for suggestions re: a gift for a friend.
I'm really feeling troubled about this same friend.
A year or so ago, she lost her elderly father. Like many people, he had an accident at home that led to his being in a coma and he never regained consciousness. She took it really hard, and so did the rest of the family. It's hard for me to relate to her on this issue, b/c my dad was abusive and we were not close. But she really seems torn up about it, and she has some other problems in her life that are really tough.
We've been friends all our lives. That said, I'm starting to feel like she's clinging to her misery and grief, and I'm starting to feel just a wee bit frustrated. She emails me at least once a week with a miserable story about how her family and she are fighting, she and her husband are fighting, her mother is flipping out over this that or the other. She rarely asks me how I am doing. I have my own problems right now (nothing huge, thankfully).
Last week, she emailed me and told me she went to a medium and her father "spoke" to her. Now, I don't want to diss anyone's beliefs, etc., but I think this is nonsense and not real. Of course the medium had very nice things to say, like her dad was at peace, etc. I was pretty noncommittal about the whole thing. I think I just said I thought it sounded scary. Which it does.
Then her mother got mad at her for the things her father "said." Now this week it's something about her siblings not helping her when her mom needs someone around all the time (not sure if it's loneliness or what).
She is supposedly seeing a counselor. I have made suggestions. I sent her links to bereavement support groups.
I don't know what else I can do. I feel like I'm not being a good enough friend. At the same time, I want to back away.
What do you think?
I'm really feeling troubled about this same friend.
A year or so ago, she lost her elderly father. Like many people, he had an accident at home that led to his being in a coma and he never regained consciousness. She took it really hard, and so did the rest of the family. It's hard for me to relate to her on this issue, b/c my dad was abusive and we were not close. But she really seems torn up about it, and she has some other problems in her life that are really tough.
We've been friends all our lives. That said, I'm starting to feel like she's clinging to her misery and grief, and I'm starting to feel just a wee bit frustrated. She emails me at least once a week with a miserable story about how her family and she are fighting, she and her husband are fighting, her mother is flipping out over this that or the other. She rarely asks me how I am doing. I have my own problems right now (nothing huge, thankfully).
Last week, she emailed me and told me she went to a medium and her father "spoke" to her. Now, I don't want to diss anyone's beliefs, etc., but I think this is nonsense and not real. Of course the medium had very nice things to say, like her dad was at peace, etc. I was pretty noncommittal about the whole thing. I think I just said I thought it sounded scary. Which it does.
Then her mother got mad at her for the things her father "said." Now this week it's something about her siblings not helping her when her mom needs someone around all the time (not sure if it's loneliness or what).
She is supposedly seeing a counselor. I have made suggestions. I sent her links to bereavement support groups.
I don't know what else I can do. I feel like I'm not being a good enough friend. At the same time, I want to back away.
What do you think?
Frustrated with a friend
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