I would consider myself ok to look at. Nothing earth shattering but ok. I am turning 40 this week and I realized a lot of what I depend on for how I measure my value are my looks. This, for me, is my ego getting the best of me. Painted nails, long hair, certain clothes or colors on me, even the purse I carry or the sunglasses I wear, all driving my ego to think I am attractive or it has some weighted value. I have been really challenging myself to remove all of this outside "stuff" and focus on the inside and see what pours out. Come September, I am going no makeup, no nail polish, donating my long hair and keeping my wardrobe simple, with only allowing my wedding band and one necklace to wear.
I know this may seem strange to y'all but I have been hung up on my looks for a long time, a total distraction. Sounds silly but I am hoping this breaks that cycle and I can accept myself just as I am. I am just doing this for the month of September and October to see what shakes out.
Much like my home, I am letting go of what is expected or what I think makes me who I am and just letting go. The best feeling I can relate to this is when I was on vacation about 10 years ago. I was having a terrible time in my personal life and just packed a small bag and drove down to San Diego and wandered around for 3 weeks, no plans, no expectations. I was lucky I packed deodorant. :) It was the most freeing time of my life. My second day there, I got a haircut because I was so stinking tired of wrapping my hair up in a bun to put up while in uniform. I chopped it all and beside some lip balm, I wore nothing but fresh skin and a smile. I loved that feeling, wrapped in the warmth of spending days on the beach, long walks, iced coffees and flip flops. Yep- I think that is the most authentic I have ever been. So now to challenge myself again, this time while being a mom, wife, business owner, human, experience life to it's fullest and not worrying.
Anyone care to join me?
I know this may seem strange to y'all but I have been hung up on my looks for a long time, a total distraction. Sounds silly but I am hoping this breaks that cycle and I can accept myself just as I am. I am just doing this for the month of September and October to see what shakes out.
Much like my home, I am letting go of what is expected or what I think makes me who I am and just letting go. The best feeling I can relate to this is when I was on vacation about 10 years ago. I was having a terrible time in my personal life and just packed a small bag and drove down to San Diego and wandered around for 3 weeks, no plans, no expectations. I was lucky I packed deodorant. :) It was the most freeing time of my life. My second day there, I got a haircut because I was so stinking tired of wrapping my hair up in a bun to put up while in uniform. I chopped it all and beside some lip balm, I wore nothing but fresh skin and a smile. I loved that feeling, wrapped in the warmth of spending days on the beach, long walks, iced coffees and flip flops. Yep- I think that is the most authentic I have ever been. So now to challenge myself again, this time while being a mom, wife, business owner, human, experience life to it's fullest and not worrying.
Anyone care to join me?
Removing my Ego and challenging myself
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