Maybe this will pass in a few days.
I earlier posted about taking 4 bags of my kids' clothes to the local Caring Center. I sort of got rid of stuff with reckless abandon yesterday. My kids are now mid-late 20's and I've had these boxes in a closet for years and years and I was tired of them taking up so much space.
Well, when I first got home yesterday after taking the stuff, I was fine. But as the day went on, I started thinking about a couple of the items that I probably shouldn't have gotten rid of (just little things like 2 of DS's shirts and a sundress of DD's that she probably only wore a couple times.
This morning, I was obsessed. I've tried and tried to talk myself out of feeling a tremendous sense of loss, but it wasn't working. So I drove back to the Caring Center and everything had been put away/moved. I walked through the place, looking, but I couldn't see any of it. They are really stacked to the gills with stuff........in and out of boxes.
Well, I drove home sobbing. How stupid is that???!!! I still feel awful.
This HAS to be more than just giving up a few of my children's clothes. Everything is "human" to me. I grew up in a fairly un-loving home, and I think I gave life to inanimate objects very early in life, just to have someone/something to love.
I'm trying to learn from this experience. I just can't feel this way every time I have to give something away. I'm not sure how to approach it. Yes, I still have my children. Yes, I have alot of their things in pictures. So why am I feeling panicked about having "lost" a few things? There are so many worse things in life!! And this happens almost every time I donate anything. It's like my brain starts trying to think of something to feel loss over.
It doesn't help me to think of some other child wearing this stuff. I know it should, but it doesn't help. I fear this is much deeper than I can even understand. Sometimes, it gets really old being CathyA!
I earlier posted about taking 4 bags of my kids' clothes to the local Caring Center. I sort of got rid of stuff with reckless abandon yesterday. My kids are now mid-late 20's and I've had these boxes in a closet for years and years and I was tired of them taking up so much space.
Well, when I first got home yesterday after taking the stuff, I was fine. But as the day went on, I started thinking about a couple of the items that I probably shouldn't have gotten rid of (just little things like 2 of DS's shirts and a sundress of DD's that she probably only wore a couple times.
This morning, I was obsessed. I've tried and tried to talk myself out of feeling a tremendous sense of loss, but it wasn't working. So I drove back to the Caring Center and everything had been put away/moved. I walked through the place, looking, but I couldn't see any of it. They are really stacked to the gills with stuff........in and out of boxes.
Well, I drove home sobbing. How stupid is that???!!! I still feel awful.
This HAS to be more than just giving up a few of my children's clothes. Everything is "human" to me. I grew up in a fairly un-loving home, and I think I gave life to inanimate objects very early in life, just to have someone/something to love.
I'm trying to learn from this experience. I just can't feel this way every time I have to give something away. I'm not sure how to approach it. Yes, I still have my children. Yes, I have alot of their things in pictures. So why am I feeling panicked about having "lost" a few things? There are so many worse things in life!! And this happens almost every time I donate anything. It's like my brain starts trying to think of something to feel loss over.
It doesn't help me to think of some other child wearing this stuff. I know it should, but it doesn't help. I fear this is much deeper than I can even understand. Sometimes, it gets really old being CathyA!
Thought I'd be set free, but I'm miserable now........
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